Who should you listen to?

In recent years, I've become a person who likes to listen to what others have to say, whether I agree or not with what they say is another issue. That's also one of the reasons why I enjoy wedding planning, because I can get to know a couple in two hours and pull out interesting information to incorporate into their wedding day. There are billions of ways to make a wedding, or any celebration, more personal and intimate, you just have to be willing to notice the little things that make the couple smile at each other.

That's why I was quite surprised when I was asked to plan Viv & Ben's wedding that they had never be consulted on any of the details, I'm not even talking about the little details that many overlook, but things like, what kind of venue, food, atmosphere, colours etc. they wanted. The father of the bride asked me to plan the wedding and all he told me was that he had picked a ballroom with a marble staircase (staircases are really popular in HK weddings) and that he had picked a menu that had all the food that you would see at a HK banquet.

I quickly asked if he knew what Viv wanted. He had no idea. In a way I can understand that he thought since she was already planning her wedding in the UK, she didn't care or have the time to think about the one in HK. But I felt that if I was on board to help, I would help the bride and groom to have a wedding banquet that they wanted to attend, not one where they were 'ordered' by their father to attend.

My initial conversation with Viv was by email, and the feeling I got from her was that she hadn't really given much thought to the banquet as she wasn't physically here in HK to plan it, she's never seen the photos or had the time to think of what to do with the space. So, I told her that what I really wanted to do was plan a wedding banquet for her that she felt comfortable in, not one where she was 'placed' in like some characters in a play. Initially she hadn't even wanted a photographer or videographer, almost like she already thought that the wedding banquet was going to be a disaster that she didn't want to remember... :)

As the possibilities of what she wanted were endless, we started off by talking about what she DIDN'T WANT. A good thing that we have both been to some very tacky looking Hong Kong weddings so we were both on the same page about how we were not going to do the wedding, no tulle fabric, no bubble gum colours, nothing in-your-face in gold and red.

This then made it very easy as she sent me photos of what she did want, I tried to incorporate as much as I can all the while keeping everything sleek and coherent. Another thing that I really enjoyed was really putting my own spin on melding together east and west traditions and modern with homey (lots of opportunities for DIY projects and more attention to the little details that make it more YOU than just another wedding).

My all time favourite,
a rainbow selection of ribbons

Some people may think I am really too caught up in details that don't matter, like how the napkin is folded, where the menus are placed, what colour the chair covers, table clothes, napkins, glasses are etc. But when you pay attention to these details and consider how altogether these things on the table will affect people's visual when they enter the room, then it becomes important. Plus there are always guests, like me, who notice and value all the little details and time & effort used to put it together.

In the end, the bride and groom were pleasantly surprised with what I had done with the venue, the father of the bride was pleased with the food AND that his daughter loved her wedding banquet. So, while the one paying may have the right to decide on all the things, I think it was a wise choice to make sure that the bride and groom were happy as well, because in the end, the father just wanted a fabulous celebration and his daughter to have a happy start to her marriage.

This wedding was my first wedding on my own, and will forever be one of the most memorable ones. I thank Ben & Viv, and her parents for inviting me to be a part of their wedding.

My BIG DAY! (....almost)

A lot of you may know that I just recently did my FIRST wedding on my OWN! I have to say it was all quite exciting, nerve-breaking, and a tidal wave of adrenaline rushing through.... but to get to the BIG DAY, I had lots of prep work to do, and as a lot of it happened in my head and then communicated through various meetings with the bride, the father of the bride and various vendors, I don't have many photos to show of my prep work. Maybe I'll post some of the photos that were used to inspire me.... :)

The bride and groom, Viv and Ben are friends that I've known for a really long time, I've known the bride since I was in high school, probably around 15 or so, so it's been 10 years! I was honoured to be entrusted with their banquet in Hong Kong.

Not only have I been away from Hong Kong for a few years, but I haven't had the experience of having to do everything by myself. In the past, I worked for a wedding planning company and they always had huge budgets (actually more like there was no budget, just spend as much as we can! It's a good way to do it if you have the money) and there were lots of vendors to choose from. But I was ready to take on the challenge, and actually, I think this wedding (and the other weddings to come will) help me to really get started on building a group of reliable, professional and truly stunning vendors who are not only great at what they do, but also affordable. I only had a little over a month to plan everything, including the logistics and rundown for the day of the banquet!

My couple live in the UK and so they were busy with their everyday life (work work work, the bride is in advertising - so she has super long work hours and takes a while to reply to my emails... but she does reply) plus they had to plan their Bristol wedding and reception as well.

here are some photos of their Bristol wedding...

The proud baba walking his little girl down the aisle...

I am very thankful that the bride knew what she liked and disliked, this made it easier for me to tailor her HK wedding banquet to really reflect the personality of the couple. They wanted a wedding banquet that was not extravagant, but really a celebration of their family, marriage and the people who attended. Their guest list was kept to 200 and a bit more guests. She didn't want to have to waste the evening to change into 5 different dresses and parade around for the guests, what she did want - was to spend time with her guests and have a wonderful dinner and time.

As she was having an 'English' wedding and reception in the UK (church ceremony and then cocktail in the garden and a reception dinner), she had originally wanted a Chinese wedding banquet with very traditional lacquered wood furniture, lanterns, traditional Chinese chess games etc, however, as her father had selected the venue and it was in a ballroom that was very non-Chinese-y, we decided that it would be better to work with the venue that we have, instead of against it.

I must mention that Viv designed all of her stationery and all the printed material! Of course, it's really wonderful that she was able to actually work the computer and design it all herself, but I think that if you don't know how to use computer programs, that's ok, just find someone to design it for you, but incorporate things that are important to you. That goes for all the other elements as well, but having invitations and other stationery designed specifically for you can really help to set the tone. And that's what I did, I took the colours from her invitation and used them in various elements in her wedding.

Colours: purple tones, orange, woodsy brown

Viv and Ben wrote their own initials, and Viv used that as their monograms. I love how they were so open about sharing all the places that were special to them, I was so happy to learn about these little tidbits that are important to them.

Some of the problems that I encountered early on...

There was HUGE blue spotted and striped dog at the very entrance, where everyone enters the banquet from and are bound to notice a smiley faced canine greeting them.... I was worried about how I would block that...

Here's what the venue looked like bare....

above left: a strange work of 'art' right next to the entrance into the ballroom;
above right: the guest signing table/area
below: the photo display and message card area

Viv and Ben were very ambitious with their wedding in the UK, they wanted a lot of things but they decided to do it themselves. I applaud them for their hard work, actually getting to design and make all the little details for your wedding is what makes it even more personal, special and memorable for you.

What happened, was they ran out of time, and there were a few minor things that they were not able to have at their Bristol reception, one of them being a 'photo booth'. This is something that is gaining popularity at many wedding receptions in the US, Canada and, I guess, Europe as well. I've always thought this was a very cool concept, but I think in HK it's pretty new, I haven't heard of anyone having this at their wedding yet.... So I really wanted to do this for Ben and Viv.

Thankfully, we were able to find a production house that could do it within the short timeframe (about 1-2 weeks) and at a reasonable cost. So 'we killed two birds with one stone' (I think this is the first time in my life that I am using this idiom...) and made a photo booth backdrop that also blocked the blue dog! YEAHHHH! I was so happy when that idea was approved! But then I had to come up with what to put on the backdrop, as Viv didn't want a huge photo of them blown up, nor did she want anything tacky.... so I came up with the idea to blow up her invitation and have that as the backdrop.

Viv wasn't getting any pre-wedding photos taken (another thing that is very common in Chinese, even Asian, weddings) so she wouldn't have a photo album to display, instead she wanted to hang her photos from lines. I love this idea, it's something that I like and have always wanted to do, but the thing is that hanging it from lines like that looks a little informal, more suited for an outdoor wedding... plus I hadn't thought about how I was going to stick lines onto the wall without it looking ugly... yet... :)

For the photo display, I decided to try and incorporate her colours into it, so that it didn't look like a totally separate display. As I was using a lot of purple - the backdrop, the staircase, the flowers, I thought to make the photo display using orange ribbons and also to have lace covered candle holders (as her wedding dress has a bit of lace detailing). Unfortunately, there are no photos of while I was setting up... but I do have photos of when I was making the candle holders...

Next I had to prepare props for the photo booth, I dug through my piles of costume jewelry and accessories and came up with some sunglasses, a couple of black boards to write message with chalks on and I made some mustaches...

Last thing that I prepared the night before, was place cards to seat each guest. As most of the guest names are in Chinese, I enlisted the help of a extremely wonderful calligrapher, Teresa, at the last minute. She not only helped me when I needed it, but she enjoyed herself! and not to miss out on the opportunity to thank another little helper, Jeff, who helped to fold all the tent seating cards, it may sound easy, but it actually takes skills to fold neat and clean lines... I couldn't do it...

It's always more fun to work with someone rather than by yourself! Even my helper at home helped out and we had a good laugh! (see photo of when I was wrapping the candle holders)

I was also asked to be one of the emcees for the evening as there were some guests from out of town who needed English translation - as some of you may know, I am not good at public speaking and avoid it at all costs, usually.... I have to say that although we went through the script, I still forgot my lines... that line was in Chinese and consisted of words and phrases that I wouldn't use naturally.... so for all those who are future emcees, I suggest that you try to say things that come naturally to you rather than use phrases that you don't know the meaning of. Let your personality come through, rather than pretend to be something you're not.

I have no idea how I did, but I think I am much more suited to just being the planner rather than getting up on the stage.

I did a lot of prep work, but like the place card issue, things do pop up, but we just deal with it. The night before the bride asked me to do her hair for her, which I'm no expert at, I just like twisting my hair into knots on my head.... hahaha... but I am happy that she had confidence in me. This meant that what I had originally planned for the setup schedule would have to change. I would have to help the bride while she was getting ready instead of finishing up my decoration and setup, so I had to arrive at the venue much earlier than anticipated. But I think it was also a blessing in disguise as I was able to have some time to myself before all the crew came in and really prioritize what I needed to do.

Ok, now photos of the wedding banquet in full swing!

left: early guests all dolled up!
middle: bride's bouquet (keep your bouquets in water when not in use, especially as the weather is so hot during the summer!)
right: A world famous pianist, not!

Work it girl!

And to end the night...




Finally, you see the stairs that the bride (in a coral dress for the send off) and groom entered the banquet at the beginning of the evening.

Hopefully I'll get some photos from the hired photographers soon and will share them here.

So what did you think?
I welcome suggestions and ideas, so whenever you guys are surfing the internet and come across anything that you think is cool, whether it's for a wedding or another event, just send it to me. I will thank you for your help! :)

I have to say that the wedding banquet may not look like the elaborate and extravagant weddings that I've done in the past, but this one required just as much thought, time and effort. And it was all worth it, especially when the two most important people of the evening thanked me and told me how it was amazing and far exceeded their expectations! I was just really happy to be a part of it and to be able to plan a banquet that was meaningful to them.

Best wishes to Ben and Viv Yapp on the start of their new life together!

I must apologize, as I am writing this, I really regret not taking photos of every single little thing I came across on the day, the wedding favour - chocolates from the UK, the food - every single dish served, the place settings - napkin rings, the staircase - fabric, candles, rose petals... usually I am very good at documenting all of this, but I was just really busy and had no free hands or pockets for a camera.