Who should you listen to?

In recent years, I've become a person who likes to listen to what others have to say, whether I agree or not with what they say is another issue. That's also one of the reasons why I enjoy wedding planning, because I can get to know a couple in two hours and pull out interesting information to incorporate into their wedding day. There are billions of ways to make a wedding, or any celebration, more personal and intimate, you just have to be willing to notice the little things that make the couple smile at each other.

That's why I was quite surprised when I was asked to plan Viv & Ben's wedding that they had never be consulted on any of the details, I'm not even talking about the little details that many overlook, but things like, what kind of venue, food, atmosphere, colours etc. they wanted. The father of the bride asked me to plan the wedding and all he told me was that he had picked a ballroom with a marble staircase (staircases are really popular in HK weddings) and that he had picked a menu that had all the food that you would see at a HK banquet.

I quickly asked if he knew what Viv wanted. He had no idea. In a way I can understand that he thought since she was already planning her wedding in the UK, she didn't care or have the time to think about the one in HK. But I felt that if I was on board to help, I would help the bride and groom to have a wedding banquet that they wanted to attend, not one where they were 'ordered' by their father to attend.

My initial conversation with Viv was by email, and the feeling I got from her was that she hadn't really given much thought to the banquet as she wasn't physically here in HK to plan it, she's never seen the photos or had the time to think of what to do with the space. So, I told her that what I really wanted to do was plan a wedding banquet for her that she felt comfortable in, not one where she was 'placed' in like some characters in a play. Initially she hadn't even wanted a photographer or videographer, almost like she already thought that the wedding banquet was going to be a disaster that she didn't want to remember... :)

As the possibilities of what she wanted were endless, we started off by talking about what she DIDN'T WANT. A good thing that we have both been to some very tacky looking Hong Kong weddings so we were both on the same page about how we were not going to do the wedding, no tulle fabric, no bubble gum colours, nothing in-your-face in gold and red.

This then made it very easy as she sent me photos of what she did want, I tried to incorporate as much as I can all the while keeping everything sleek and coherent. Another thing that I really enjoyed was really putting my own spin on melding together east and west traditions and modern with homey (lots of opportunities for DIY projects and more attention to the little details that make it more YOU than just another wedding).

My all time favourite,
a rainbow selection of ribbons

Some people may think I am really too caught up in details that don't matter, like how the napkin is folded, where the menus are placed, what colour the chair covers, table clothes, napkins, glasses are etc. But when you pay attention to these details and consider how altogether these things on the table will affect people's visual when they enter the room, then it becomes important. Plus there are always guests, like me, who notice and value all the little details and time & effort used to put it together.

In the end, the bride and groom were pleasantly surprised with what I had done with the venue, the father of the bride was pleased with the food AND that his daughter loved her wedding banquet. So, while the one paying may have the right to decide on all the things, I think it was a wise choice to make sure that the bride and groom were happy as well, because in the end, the father just wanted a fabulous celebration and his daughter to have a happy start to her marriage.

This wedding was my first wedding on my own, and will forever be one of the most memorable ones. I thank Ben & Viv, and her parents for inviting me to be a part of their wedding.